Wednesday, June 22, 2011

You want to know why I'm a smoker? THIS is why I'm a smoker.

I work on the IT help desk at a company. People call me when they have problems with their computers. Some of them are...difficult. Here's a conversation I had a few minutes ago:

*Ring ring*
ME: Help desk. This is John
CALLER: Is something wrong with the computers?
ME: Um..excuse me, what?
CALLER: Is something wrong with the computers?
ME: Which computers?
CALLER: All of them. Is something wrong?
ME: All right...what seems to be the problem, ma'am?
CALLER: Everything freezes up. I can't do anything.
ME: Okay, I think there's a problem with just your-
CALLER: It's still frozen up! Did you do something?
ME: No. Now do you have a laptop, or a desktop?
ME: Okay. Which one are you using?
CALLER: Neither.
ME: *gritting teeth* All right. You are using a computer right now, correct?
CALLER: No! I can't! It's frozen!
ME: .....
ME: Can you describe what your computer looks like?
CALLER: It's a boxy thing. It's sitting on my desk.
ME: Great. That would be your desktop.
CALLER: But nothing's wrong with my desktop! It's the box on the desktop. And it's still frozen.
ME: Okay, let's just call that boxy thing your "desktop," okay? Now-
CALLER: I have to get this out to a client!
ME: I understand. Now, I can't remote into your desktop, so-
ME: Sorry. I can't connect to thing. I'll have to walk over there. Okay?
CALLER: Should I stay on the phone? 
(a few minutes later, I arrive on the scene)
ME: Okay, let's take a look.
CALLER: It's still frozen!
ME: Let me take a look...okay, here's the problem. Microsoft Word's frozen and using up 95% of your CPU.
CALLER: Can you unfreeze it?
ME: Let me, probably not. We'll need to just shut down Word and restart it.
CALLER: Can you save my words?
ME: Which words?
CALLER: The words on the screen!
ME: But Autorecovery should get them...when's the last time you've saved your document?
ME: Your words. The words on the screen. When's the last time you-
CALLER: Can you print them out?
ME: No. I can't do anything. It's frozen.
CALLER: Can't you unfreeze them?
ME: ....
ME: Tell you what. Let me try.
(I terminate the Word process. MS Word restarts, and autorecovery works. Document comes back up unscathed.)
CALLER: They're back! Save them! Quick.
ME: Okay. There you go.
CALLER: Thank you! You're a genius.
ME: No problem. Next time save your words, okay?
CALLER: Thank you!
CALLER: Can I get a new box? This one is slow. And it freezes.
ME: Well, you'll need to request one from your supervisor.
CALLER: Can't you just give it to me?
ME: No, we need permission to-
CALLER: My supervisor keeps asking me to get a new computer.
ME: Well, she can ask for one by entering a ticket.
CALLER: She doesn't need a new computer! I do! Her computer is fine!
ME: Ah. But she needs to ask for you to get a new computer.
CALLER: For me?
ME: Yes. She asks for you.
CALLER: That doesn't make sense.
ME: I don't make the rules, ma'am.
CALLER: If I get a new computer, will it freeze too?
ME: *crossing myself* I hope not.

I'm not making any of this up. (By the way, the caller is actually a very nice person in real life.)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

And... Another song

I recorded another song this morning: Isabel.

This song is one of my personal favorites. It's just really fun to play. Problem is, I play it too often; my wife is sick of it.

Interesting story behind the song: the "Isabel" refers to the 2003 hurricane. I was at the breezeway at my parents house when this storm came in, and I wrote the whole thing right there.

Yay I'm on youtube 4 times!

So a few days ago one of my co-workers comes up to me and says "Hey! Can you play guitar?"
ME: "Um....yes?"
Coworker: Cool! You're on youtube! Check it out!"
So I do...and he's right. My dad (who's sort of a YouTube fanatic) posted a couple videos of me playing guitar. And that got me thinking... those of you who know me well know that I've written lots and lots of songs over the years. Most of them exist only in my head. Some are written down. Almost none are recorded.

So...I'm going to start recording them. And putting them on YouTube. What the hey. It's better than nothing. At least they won't disappear into oblivion if I get hit by a truck or something. (And yes, I know "disappear into oblivion" is an oxymoron).

I started tonight. Unfortunately it was after midnight and my family's asleep, so I recorded two softer, meloncholy songs. Enjoy! All are in the playlist above - which will hopefully get larger soon.