That's right, Daryl. It's really about Jesus. Jesus started it all. He put me on that throne when he told me, "You are Rock, and upon this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hell will not overcome it." And ever since then, my successors have sat on that throne, and Hell hasn't overcome the Church. Not for lack of trying. And that's what this feast is really about.
Ha ha! You see, Daryll! You're just a piece of furniture after all, you pompous, motheaten...
Hang on there, Larry. You got to show Daryll a little respect. Don't do what I did.
Oh yeah? And what did you do, heretic?
Glad you asked. Well, I had to deal with some pretty pompous popes back in my day. Worse than pompous, actually. Corrupt.
Sigh... that's right.
And that's what started me off on the wrong road. I was so angry at the corruption and the lack of focus on Jesus that I went too far. I didn't stop with condemning the corruption; I condemned the papacy itself...and then the Mass...and that lead me more and more into error. I grew more anti-semitic, for example; a horrible sin. And I incited violence and wars. In the end, my actions led to a permanent split in the Church, a century or more of wars all over Europe, religious persecutions on both sides, and suffering and violence...all because I didn't respect the Chair of St. Peter.
So what are you doing up here, heretic? Why aren't you down in the other place?
Because he loved Jesus, of course! As did his followers...and all of the separated brethren! So stop calling him heretic!
Well...let's be honest, Pete. I was a heretic.
Well...that's all in the past. And your followers are not. We're all part of the Body of Christ. And we need to work together; now more than ever.
Amen to that, brother. So all of you need to get along. Daryll, stop being such a jerk. And the rest of you...no matter how big of a jerk he is, respect his office. Okay?
...can I still make poems about myself?
Not unless you want to get smitten.
Happy Chair of St. Peter Day!
(Editor's note: Sorry this was so late. I was sick. That's why).